My Approach

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My aim is to equip couples with the skills to shape and maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship long after our work together has ended.

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Session Structure

 

Each session lasts 90 minutes, followed by at least 30 minutes (often more, at no extra cost) spent updating a personalised "Notes and Reflections" file. This file, accessible through a secure link within 48 hours of the session, helps maintain continuity and ensures ongoing progress between sessions.

 

Cost

 

The first session is only charged if you choose to continue working with me. This way, you can be confident that the connection between you and your counsellor is a good fit for both of you.

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Hourly rate: £140/€165, or the equivalent in your local currency.

 

Session-by-Session Guide

 

While the journey may differ for each couple, the core elements of our work are consistent. I believe that jumping straight into resolving conflicts often fails to produce lasting results outside the session. Instead, the initial focus is on developing new capacities to manage and resolve conflicts effectively. Once these skills are in place, we shift our attention to resolving the specific issues that brought you to counselling, allowing your relationship to evolve into a more rewarding one.

 

Session 1

 

We begin by addressing two key areas:

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• You each answer the following question: If this were our final session and we were reflecting on how your relationship has changed, what would you hope to say?

• You’ll be introduced to the Rainbow Map tool, which develops your self-awareness of the Reflective Mind and the Reactive Brain/Body. For example, if one of you recovers faster from arguments than the other, this difference can become a source of conflict. Recognising this opens the door to reducing its impact on your relationship.

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Homework: Practise using the Rainbow Map and explore the Reflective Mind and Reactive Brain/Body model, which offers a clear, jargon-free framework for understanding these dynamics.

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Session 2

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We’ll review your progress with the Reflective Mind and Reactive Brain/Body model and fine-tune your Rainbow Maps.

 

Next, we’ll create a Genogram, mapping your family structure. This helps us identify existing strengths and areas where new resources can be developed.

 

Homework: Read a short piece on resources and reconditioning, and continue improving your self-awareness using the Reflective Mind and Reactive Brain/Body model.

 

Session 3

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We review your progress in self-awareness. By this stage, many clients begin experimenting with refining or generating new resources.

 

Sessions 4-6

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As your self-awareness grows, we carefully progress from addressing less sensitive to more challenging issues. During this time, we revisit your original "Best Hopes" from the first session, refining and adding to them based on the insights and conversations you’re having both during and between sessions.

 

If certain issues prove harder to resolve, we may explore whether the Legacy Behaviour Experience could be beneficial. This process typically adds three to six sessions, providing a deeper understanding of long-standing behaviours.

 

The Legacy Behaviour Experience helps you uncover the origins of behaviours that may have served you in the past but are no longer aligned with your current needs. Gaining this awareness allows for the development of more focused resources to recondition deeply ingrained patterns.

 

Sessions 7-12

 

Towards the end of our work together, we will reduce the frequency of sessions to once a month and eventually to once every three months. These final sessions are aimed at fine-tuning your self-awareness, resources, and outcomes, ensuring they become ingrained in your relationship moving forward.