Online Couple Counselling

My Approach

I aim to equip couples with the skills to shape and maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship long after our work together has ended.

Session Structure

Each session lasts 90 minutes, followed by at least 30 minutes (often more, at no additional cost) during which I update a personalised and private "Summary and Reflections" file for each one of you. This Word document is accessible through a secure link within 48 hours of the session. I introduced this in 2023, and clients have found it to be a valuable resource for maintaining continuity and ensuring ongoing progress between sessions.

Hourly rate: £40–£140 per session (or the equivalent in your local currency). After the initial trial session, clients choose an hourly rate within this range that feels sustainable and does not add financial strain. I do not question or renegotiate the rate a client chooses.

I work this way because the length of therapy is inherently unpredictable, and it would be counterproductive for cost itself to become an additional source of discomfort alongside the difficulties already being experienced within your relationship. This approach is grounded in mutual trust, which I see as fundamental to a healthy and effective therapeutic relationship between client and counsellor.

Session-by-Session Guide

While the journey may differ for each couple, the core elements of our work are consistent. I find that jumping straight into resolving conflicts often fails to produce lasting results outside the session. Instead, the initial focus is on developing new capacities to manage and resolve issues effectively. Once these skills are in place, we shift our attention to resolving the specific issues that brought you to counselling, allowing your relationship to evolve into a more rewarding one.

The session outline below will vary both in content and in number depending on the specific issues you bring to counselling. It is provided to give you a sense of how I generally work with clients.

Session 1

We begin by addressing two key areas:

You each answer the following question: If this were our final session and we were reflecting on how your relationship has changed, what would you hope to say?
You’ll be introduced to the Rainbow Map tool, which develops self-awareness of your Reflective/Reactive Brain/Body. For example, if one of you recovers faster from arguments than the other, this difference can become a source of conflict. Recognising this opens the door to reducing its impact on your relationship.

Homework: Practise using the Rainbow Map and explore the Reflective/Reactive Brain/Body model, which offers a clear, jargon-free framework for understanding these dynamics.

Sessions 2 - 4

We’ll review your progress with the Reflective/Reactive Brain/Body model and fine-tune your Rainbow Maps.

Next, we’ll create a Genogram, mapping your family structure. This helps us identify existing strengths and areas where new resources can be developed.

Homework: Read a short piece on resources and reconditioning, and continue improving your self-awareness using the Reflective Mind and Reactive Brain/Body model.

Sessions 5 -10

As your self-awareness grows, we carefully progress from addressing less sensitive to more challenging issues. During this time, we revisit your original "Best Hopes" from the first session, refining and adding to them based on the insights and conversations you’re having both during and between sessions.

If certain issues prove harder to resolve, we may explore whether the Legacy Behaviour Experience could be beneficial. This process typically adds three to six sessions, providing a deeper understanding of long-standing behaviours.

The Legacy Behaviour Experience helps you uncover the origins of behaviours that may have served you in the past but are no longer aligned with your current needs. Gaining this awareness allows for the development of more focused resources to recondition deeply ingrained patterns.

Sessions 11-15

Towards the end of our work together, we will reduce the frequency of sessions to once a month and eventually to once every three months. These final sessions are aimed at fine-tuning your self-awareness, resources, and outcomes, ensuring they become ingrained in your relationship moving forward.